Two years ago today, on an unseasonably warm and sunny October afternoon, after ten years of being together, Jeremy and I tied the knot and then celebrated the night away with our wonderful friends and family! While it feels like decades ago now in so many ways, in others, it feels like just yesterday. There are countless little moments and details I remember so vividly—the way the light was streaming into the bridal suite while I slipped into my dress, the kind words whispered into my ear with every hug, the songs that were playing during all the key moments at the reception. It was a dream.
I wanted to write a reflection on this day immediately, but in the early days after being wed, it felt too overwhelming a task. How does one summarize such a magical day—a magical season—in a single blog post? And then, of course, with the loss of our wedding photos, I was devastated that I wouldn’t be able to visually supplement the memories I’d be writing about.
Now, though, feels like the right time to attempt documenting our day in words. We put our hearts and souls into planning our wedding. There were so many details that I never want to forget and that our guests may or may not have noticed that I’ll share both in this post and in more detail in a few posts I have planned for the coming weeks. I hope you’re ready for a mini wedding series to end the year as we celebrate our second year as husband and wife!
For now, I want to recap the overall essence of the day and some of the ways we tried to make our ceremony and reception as meaningful as possible.
And while we don’t have any professional photos to share from that day, we do have this video, which I’m so glad we opted to get. I’ve pulled a few stills from it for this post!
Perhaps the most precious memory to come from our day, that we’ve talked about so many times together since, was how the people in our lives came together for us. And how this event mended bridges, connected us with friends and family we hadn’t seen in ages, and signaled that the world was beginning to heal from the pandemic. We had guests travel in from all over the country, and some out of the country, to celebrate with us. Any part of me that was still wondering whether eloping would have been a better option melted away as we watched so many of the most important people in our lives gather around us.
We had a close-knit group of friends who pitched in to help us in the days before the wedding, which, if you didn’t know already, was completely DIY. We had no wedding planner, no coordinators, no hired help for organizing or decorating or running the show! The event venue, located at The White Rose in Decatur, Indiana, is beautiful as a blank slate… but it was exactly that. We rented everything ourselves—the tables, the chairs, even a mobile restroom!
Our friends and family showed up ready to be put to work. We had accumulated so much to fill the space that we literally rented a U-Haul to fill with the decorations I’d been collecting and making for months on end and furniture we used from our own home (our grazing table during our pre-ceremony cocktail hour was actually our own dining table)! Trucks and cars were loaded to the brim with pumpkins of all sizes, mums, and dried grasses galore. We worked for twelve hours straight the day before, setting up tablescapes, arranging flowers, styling the bar, putting together wedding favor displays, building our wedding arch, and so much more.
A handful of friends and family also showed up early on wedding morning to get everything else finished up, and shoo me away when I tried to help so I could work on calming my nerves!
After I got into my dress, we did a first look and spent some time getting photos and checking in on each other before guests started arriving and I ran back off to the bridal suite (a tiny little building just steps away from the venue and our ceremony site).
We hosted a pre-ceremony cocktail hour, inviting everyone to show up a bit early, enjoy a drink and food from the grazing table (a giant charcuterie-style spread), loosen up, and catch up with friends and family ahead of the ceremony. Vendors who were setting up wrapped up just as this got started, and with that, the day was officially underway.
Part of me does regret not just going out and being a part of the cocktail hour instead of staying tucked away in the bridal suite and watching from the windows. Jeremy stood at the bar in the venue, greeting everyone as they entered, Rosie was there to warm guests’ hearts, the playlist was already going, and even observing it from afar, I could tell the vibes were exactly what we had envisioned. I had a few visitors in the bridal suite ahead of the ceremony starting, including my niece and nephew (who took his first steps there, just before I took mine down the aisle!), but was ready to get the show on the road and be a part of the event I’d worked so hard to put together!
Something we decided very early on in planning our wedding was that we didn’t want to have a wedding party. For one, we felt like doing so would bring a whole layer of stress we didn’t want—trying to choose our nearest and dearest when we have so many, making it an even number on both sides, communicating with them where they need to be and when, making them spend extra money on outfits, separating them from their significant others and families during the reception, and so on. We just weren’t feeling it, and were so happy with that decision when all was said and done. Instead, we were able to make everyone a part of our day!
We further threw wedding tradition to the wind when it came to the ceremony procession. We toyed around with a few different ideas (like walking down the aisle together). What we landed on, though, was having our families walk out ahead of us, in lieu of a wedding party. Our dads walked the aisle together first, and split off to opposite sides to be seated, then our moms, then our siblings and their families, then Jeremy, then me.
I was so anxious about walking down the aisle by myself, but am so glad I did, because it meant I and my best friend Leigh Anne got to hang back and watch the whole procession with a front row seat (without anyone knowing) as they passed right by the bridal suite! I excitedly pointed and rattled off who each family member was to Leigh Anne as they walked past, I think more in an effort to hold myself together than to really let her know who they were.
We’d initially only intended to bring Rosie in the morning for getting ready, a few photos, and maybe a part of the cocktail hour, so I thought she’d gone home, but from that window, I spotted her in the audience with our friend, Zac, just before I walked out, and I can’t even express how glad I am she was there, lounging in the sun, tongue out, ready to see her mama and papa get hitched. I later heard from many guests how happy they were, too, to meet her (and she sends her thanks to all of those who snuck her grazing table snacks)!
Despite my best efforts, having watched all of this play out, I was sobbing happy tears by the time it was my turn to walk the aisle! I’ll replay scanning the audience and watching the parade of family members walking past me on repeat forever.
Early on, Jeremy and I were really focused on the reception and the party element of our wedding. We valued the importance of the ceremony, of course, but felt like there wouldn’t be much that would hit us in a way we hadn’t already felt over the years about our relationship and love. My brother proved us wrong by putting together the most utterly beautiful ceremony we could have imagined. One that we’ve had friends bring up months (and now years) later as being one of the most meaningful they’ve ever witnessed (and we still have people asking if he’s local to officiate theirs)!
As he weaved together the narrative of our story starting at a bookstore and passing love notes, he included several poems we’d requested—including To Love is Not to Possess by James Kavanaugh, and Pablo Neruda’s Sonnet XVII—and invited our dear friend, Keifer May, to stand up from the audience and recite Neil Gaiman’s All I Know About Love (which caused many of our guests who were on the verge of tears to finally break)!
Our act of unity was watering a tiny start of a peach tree, which we planted in our backyard a few weeks later, adding handwritten hopes for the future in the ground before we placed it on top. It’s now tripled in size and produced sweet fruit already! During this time, Zen asked our guests to say a silent prayer or meditation of their own to wish us well.
I didn’t expect to remember the ceremony in so much detail (I tend to blackout when I’m nervous and all eyes are on me), but even today, I can still recite bits and pieces verbatim. The moment that gave me chills then, and does anytime I reflect on it, was when Zen asked if our friends and family would support us and love us as husband and wife and hearing the resounding, “WE WILL” from everyone in unison!
With that, we were wed, shared our first kiss, and had all our guests raise their glasses and cans with us for the first cheers of the night before we walked back down the aisle to The Traveling Wilburys’ “Handle with Care” and giddily retreated to the bridal suite to gather ourselves and process what had just happened!
From there, the night transitioned into a very slow, cozy, and casual affair. When we entered the venue for the first time, we went straight into our first dance to Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young’s “Our House.” It was then, while we were spinning around, that I caught glimpses for the first time of all the last-minute additions to the venue I hadn’t gotten to see yet—our beautiful cake, the hundreds of candles all lit up, the faces of those I hadn’t seen during the ceremony. With every turn I was exclaiming, “look at that!” “Oh my gosh, that turned out so good!” “Ooh, did you see that?!” All while Jeremy laughed and reminded me when it was time to twirl.
From there, we treated our guests to a massive BBQ feast (complete with lots of vegan options) from Full Circle BBQ. A bit later, we cut our cake (surrounded by photos of our grandparents cutting the cakes at their weddings).
We nixed the traditional dance floor, but left enough space for people to dance if they wanted—it was so fun late in the night seeing what songs inspired couples and little ones to take to the floor! Guests could wander both inside and outside the venue at their leisure and enjoy a photobooth, yard games, a pumpkin decorating station, a bonfire, a huge spread of sweet treats from Hetty Arts Pastry, and some delicious homemade macarons and cookies from my mom’s best friend, Shari!
We sent our guests home with glassware (everyone got a pint glass and wine glass) with a beautiful logo designed by my dear friend, Simone. We also gifted everyone a copper, leaf-shaped bottle opener. All this in hopes, of course, that family and friends would think back fondly on the night and continue to celebrate with us even at home when they pull them from their cabinets. We love getting random photos of them in use, even still today! We put together gift bags for the kids in attendance, with a few Halloween-inspired toys and a wedding-themed coloring book. We also had little treat bags for both dogs and cats from Rosie, sealed with a dachshund sticker, so guests could spoil their pets when they got home!
The venue’s stunning bar was filled to the brim with options. We were so grateful to 2Toms Brewing for brewing two signature beers for us, one that included hops we grew in our own garden that summer (we also used several of those hop cuttings to decorate the bar and venue)! We had a host of other beers, ciders, and wines, and offered three signature cocktails—The Bride (a butterbeer cocktail in honor of my Harry Potter obsession), The Groom (an apple cider Moscow mule, Jeremy’s favorite when he’s not drinking beer), and The Dachshund (a fall-inspired sangria with rosé in honor of Rosie, in addition to brandy, apples, apple cider, and cinnamon)! Our amazing friends Austin and Ryan from Deer Park Irish Pub kept our guests’ glasses full all night long!
It was a fun-filled night and exactly what I was hoping for: slow-paced, relaxing, and low-pressure—for everyone!
There was a moment when we were heading back toward the venue from getting sunset photos in the field across the street, laughing at the burrs and leaves stuck to the bottom of my reception dress, that we took a moment to pause and savor it all from a distance. The warm glow coming from the venue was such a contrast from the darkness setting in around it. From the giant open doors and windows, we could see the flickering candles on every table and the rust-colored centerpieces and hundreds of strategically placed pumpkins ushering in the fall season and this new chapter of our lives. The full glasses on the tables and in the hands of our loved ones and those who’d worked so hard to help us make all this happen thoroughly enjoying themselves. The music was drowned out by all the chatter and laughter, as well as the kids running around the building playing hide and seek. I’d never felt as lucky and as grateful as I did in that very moment, and when I start daydreaming about that day, that’s the moment I’m transported to first.
The rest of the night is a blur of well wishes, hugs, clinking glasses and cheers—and then, just like that, it was over.
We couldn’t have asked for a better wedding day. Thank you to everyone who showed up before, during, and after our dream day. And to those who are still here with us, supporting us in this story of ours. To two years and counting!
I can’t sign off this post without mentioning and thanking a few people by name who spent that day and the days before and after going above and beyond for us.
Leigh Anne, my best friend, who drove in from Charlotte. Who did the heaviest of lifting in every way—literally loading and unloading furniture and pumpkins from truck beds, setting up tables and chairs, making the fall-inspired sangria (everyone who enjoyed that a little too much has her to thank)! Helping me hold it together in the bridal suite before I walked down the aisle and checking in on me all day long. For listening to me sob into the phone weeks later when I told her about our lost wedding photos and reminding me of all the beautiful things no camera could capture. I’m so thankful this season sparked a whole new chapter in our friendship and gave us the kick in the ass we needed to not let physical distance be an excuse to see each other more often!
To my mom, for being there for every stage of planning, set-up, and tear-down, working all summer long to grow flowers, grasses, pumpkins, and kale, and helping me scour countless thrift stores to collect all the secondhand treasures to decorate with. For helping to keep things moving and on track on wedding day, buttoning the thousand buttons on the back of my wedding dress, and checking in on us after the dust settled.
To my dad for helping us book the most beautiful venue, writing us the sweetest notes and texts the day-of, and being the first to check in after wedding day.
To Jeremy’s parents for helping stock the bar, corralling the Weiks clan and making sure they all had the cutest outfits, helping with set-up, and bringing breakfast for our friends in the morning.
To my brother, Zen, who worked with me and Jeremy to make our ceremony totally unique to us and traveled from Texas with his family to officiate it so beautifully, and helped get things in order the day-of.
To Shari, for helping to set-up and clean-up, for making so many delicious desserts (the completely devoured cookies and macarons were all her!), and acting as our day-of coordinator.
To Jeff, Megan, Keifer, Mac, Melissa, and my uncle Ron, who tirelessly helped with set-up and/or tear down of all the things the day before and after. And brought pizza, coffee, and hugs to keep us going.
To Zac & Danielle for helping with loading, set-up, and unloading, and for watching after Rosie at the venue and taking her home during the reception.
To Matt, who not only helped us with set-up and tear down, but surprised us by mowing our yard while we were busy honeymooning!
To Simone, my crazy talented friend, co-worker, and confidant, who helped with set-up, designed our beautiful wedding logo (which appeared on our glassware favors and photobooth printouts), and managed all the requests that came in for me at work during my time off!
To Katlyn for helping us turn my Photoshop designs into perfectly sized and printed decals to make the most gorgeous framed signs.
To Zac and Megan for being our witnesses while Zen completed our marriage license in the bridal suite to end the evening.
To our friends Austin and Ryan, who kept the drinks flowing all night long. And also to Ryan for showing up the night before to help with some final set-up and talk me through the one and only breakdown I had that day (trying to decide where our ceremony site should be)!
To Alissa and Hunter for coming to us in the morning and working your magic on our hair (and helping us fill water carafes and over 200 glasses)!
To many of our vendors who are also our friends and showed up with your best work and then some to wow us and our guests (especially Tim, Jason, Tom, and Jeff).
And of course, to every single one of our guests—our cherished friends and family—who showed up the day-of. We love all of you more than words can describe!
That’s all for now! Stay tuned for more posts over the next several weeks that’ll include our wedding day playlists, tips and lessons learned, signature cocktail recipes, and more!
—Aly